Begin MUST

I was dipping a chamomile-lavender teabag in my morning cup with a sprinkling of disappointment and irritation. As I started my Sunday, I already know nothing will happen today. All the big plans for ‘me time’, little hobbies, self-care rituals….nothing’s going to happen today. A splendid day of Ghibli-esque sky full of cotton clouds as far as my eyes can see and my internal weather as gloomy as a dose of espresso. No, thank you. I don’t want to feel exhausted today. But I am. And I feel sad...

There has probably never been this much psychological information available to an ordinary person. A question about why I keep procrastinating can take me, within twenty minutes, through a psychologist’s Instagram post, three people describing ADHD on Reddit, a YouTube video about the nervous system, an article quoting a research study, an AI assistant explaining executive functioning, and an influencer telling me that procrastination is a trauma response. Some of these may be useful. Several...

Therapy has made me suspicious of answers that arrive too quickly. Answers have their place, of course. Sometimes there is a problem to solve, a decision to make, something that needs to change. But some questions seem to do something else. They stay. They follow me out of the therapy room, occasionally collide with something I am reading or living, disappear for months and then return altered. I have collected a few of them over the years. I don’t know anymore which were asked of me, which...